Sex Addiction: How to Overcome Sex Addiction
Posted: Saturday, September 08, 2007
by Stephany Alexander
Sexual addiction is described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all other addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members increases as the disorder progresses. Over time, the addict has to intensify the addictive behavior to achieve the same results.
For some sex addicts, behavior does not progress beyond compulsive masturbation or the widespread use of pornography or phone or computer sex services. For others, addiction can involve illegal activities such as voyeurism, exhibitionism, obscene phone calls, child molestation or rape. Sex addicts do not inevitably become sex offenders. Furthermore, not all sex offenders are sex addicts. According to psychcentral.com roughly 55% of convicted sex offenders can be considered sex addicts. About 71% of child molesters are sex addicts. For many, their problems are so severe that imprisonment is only the way to ensure society’s safety against them.
Overcoming Sexual Addiction
The consequences of sexual addiction may be devastating to not only the addict but also those close to him/her. It can leave an addict isolated, immensely anxious and depressed to the point of being suicidal. Low self-esteem, hopelessness, shame, and despair are also common feelings experienced by sex addicts. The ramifications of sex addiction do not end on an emotional level but rather, continue onto medical, financial and legal ones too.
Medical consequences of sex addiction may include HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as syphilis, genital herpes and gonorrhea. In addition, genital injury may result from unnecessary sexual activity or the use of foreign objects for sexual stimulation.
Financial consequences of sex addiction may include the loss of one's job, getting sued over sexual harassment or sexual abuse charges resulting in legal fees. Purchasing pornographic material, use of prostitutes, calling 900 phone numbers and traveling for the individual purpose of sexual contacts can create enormous debt in credit card bills and exhaust the financial resources of an addict often many times to the point of bankruptcy.
Legal consequences of sexual addiction include the arrest and incarceration of sex addict. The addict's out of control lifestyle make him to engage in high risk, illegal activities such as voyeurism, exhibitionism, inappropriate touching and the solicitation of prostitutes.
A basic approach in recognizing any addictive behavior is to assess whether it is creating irresistible trouble in your life and yet you choose to return to it despite the problem.
If your sexual behavior is exhausting your time and energy and it causes you to compromise your core values and the beliefs that you hold dear to your heart then there is cause for alarm.
Stephany Alexander is the founder of http://www.WomanSavers.com the World's Largest Database Rating Men. She has been quoted on CNN, Fox Nationwide, the New York Times, and more. She has created over 10 women's comedy cartoon ecards- http://www.womansavers.com/adult-ecards.asp , 6 women's online games- http://www.womansavers.com/womens-games.asp . She has been guest on hundreds of radio shows. For more information or to interview, please email womansavers@womansavers.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)Very good article Stephany. There are I believe (I could be wrong on this, may be you can enlighten) medications to surpress sex drive? One (alleged)herbal remedy I read about recently on a science forum of all places, was Agnus Castus. Can't people with this addiction just take steps to reduce their sex drive if that is the cause?
I saw a documentary about a young gay man (19yrs old) who had himself castrated due to trying to rid himself of his sexual urges which as you say above, caused him great distress. All the time I was wondering why he wasn't merely medicated. After the operation, he became depressed and regretted his decision! A tad late. He went on to take medication to restore his sex drive.
I believe it is better to be addicted to sex than to alcohol and drugsPam, Sexual addiction has actually been discovered to have the same brain activity as a herion addict. So when we start to have the withdrawls or triggers it's as difficult to fight as heroin.
Stephany, What do you think of my article The Lost Art of Community Policing? I like your writing and how you backed your article statistically.
your words helped me tonight to keep my self-promise of overcoming porn addiction .. god bless you
The commenter's here are clueless. Ms. Alexander's research provides an adequate overview, though by no means provides enough information to understand the experience of the sex addict. Suppressing sex drive is not the answer either, as sex drive is as essential to human survival as is breathing or eating. The real answer lies in discovering the underlying reason why the addiction exists and addressing that. And as for sex addiction being better than alcohol or drugs? Bunk - ridding oneself of alcohol or drug addiction can be easier than recovering from sex addiction since the alcohol and drugs are not necessary to live. Sex addiction is addiction to drugs manufactured by the body that are as potent as the reaction from Cocaine or Heroin. We're talking high levels of Dopamine released during sex. Sex addiction is as much a chemical addiction as it is psychological and the two are entirely intertwined. Please do some more homework before spouting off nonsense about how you think sex addicts can "cure" themselves of addiction.
There are some homeopathic medicines which can be given on totality of mental,general and physical symptoms for treatment of this mental disorder. Bach Flower medicine can also help in this respect.Homeopathic help is exactly what I am looking for. My friends husband is I believe a sex addict. He will not take any anti depressant although he admits he's depressed. Can you tell me what may work for him? Jean from Mexico
my 21 year old daughter was sexually abused when she was 3 by her uncle.when she was 10 she started to act out.she became with drawn and depressed.she had no self esteem and started drug use around 12.she always had support and some kind of counseling.she was promiscuous,and incorrigible.she became involved with family court and drug court due to her behavior.she had a sexual relationship with a thirty year old drug addict that was living in a rehab near our home. he was arrested and charged.she was14.he received 2 months jail and 10years megans law and probation.my daughter was then sent to placements for"help".the last place she was raped.she then came home and went to a drug program daily.she won a lawsuit against the facility she was raped in.but never received any help for her problems.she moved out of our house to a oxicodin addict and spent all of her money in less than 2 years on heroin.she came back home .while trying to get her help she had consensual sex with a 14 year old boy she used to babysit who's father is a drug dealer that has been supplying drugs to the neighborhood for years and also molested my daughter.the boy was persistant to her to be his" first"and my daughter gave in.keep in mind she was currently a heavy user of heroin and a sex addict.she was stripping for a living before she moved home,while her boyfriend did nothing but live in his cave and use.my daughter pleaded guilty,because she couldn't handle jail.she is now facing her sentencing date.she is in a rehab now,but a fear it is not enough.she has a long road ahead of her.what can i do?this is my baby,she sweet beautiful person.she needs help,not felonies,megans law,jail time and shame.i need help to help her.she was let down by the system.now that same system is going to let her down again.its all just so insane.i have done everything i was told to do over the years to help her.i'm exhausted.please help anyone?i attend nar-anon meetings and i have left it all in gods hands.but i belive the laws must change.how is my daughter ever going to have a normal life.she is't a chid molester.shes a heroin /sex addict,who's brain is mush,and yes she made a big mistake and she has to live with this.but this boy is not suffering,he's bragging as well as his father.who can i write or call/ any ideas would be greatly appreciated.dear hurting mother.i can understand your feeling's.i myself struggle with this problem, although not as severe.but i have been able to make great progress .belive me JESUS CHRIST IS THE ONLY ONE who can set captives free.although we can fight the battle alone to some extent this THING always seem to win!ask people who have tried everything in this world but failed miserably.sex addiction cannot be won completely by medication,rehab prog.,or anything else.IF YOU REALLY ASK JESUS to set your daughter free,HE CERTAINLY WILL.what people don't understand is the size of the enemy they are up against.sex addiction is the single most devastating SIN people are enslaved with.this thing needs GODS intervention.JESUS can heal your daughter of her past sexual abuse,HE can deliver her from her present condition and all that court cases and detention cells.if possible take your daughter to a good HOLY SPIRIT filled christian counseller(search the web to find out about full gospel church ministries in your area).my dear,"when the whole world gives up,GOD takes up".JESUS NEVER GIVES UP NO MATTER WHAT!!!JUST BELIVE!!! i have known this from my personal experience."mans extremity is GODS oppurtunity".JESUS LOVES YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER!!!HE HEARS YOUR DEEP CRYS.JESUS IS REAL .HE IS WAITING FOR YOU TO CALL UPON HIM!!!
Frankly I feel that while this is an excellent beginning to an overview on sex addiction - it ends with no remedies nor references as to where men (or women for that matter) can GO to get help. My fiance is addicted to PROJECTED THOUGHTS OF GRABBING FOR COMFORT, SEXUALITY and SAFETY with other women. It is the most horrifying thing I've ever experienced. I've been around a few blocks and I've never met anyone as disturbed as this man (on this level of his addiction). It is worse than alcohol and drugs because people don't even believe it's an addiction! It has nearly destroyed us. It has nearly destroyed him. He suffers but hasn't found sexual addicts anonymous to help. He has tried EFT and a number of other things but I think he needs neuro-feedback or inpatient treatment.
WHERE DO PEOPLE FIND HELP??? It isn't self-help - he has tried that for 9 months and cannot do it alone.
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